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July 06 Kids Summer To Do ListEvidently the college student (Laura) who is watching my children over the summer asked the kids to put together a list of things they can do. I found it on the refrigerator. It starts out tame but gets interesting...
Brooke (age 10)
Jake (age 13)
March 23 Farewell to Dummy
Dummy, I am sorry to see you go. I tried to bond with you but you would only growl, hiss and sometimes bite me. You were a definately a master of your domain. I am sure you are now enjoying an endless supply of tuna and shrimp, and there is always somebody willing to turn on the water faucet for you. Oh, and I hope there are a few bathroom rugs around for you to poop on. Farewell. March 22 Are All Wives Clumsy?This morning I am in the kitchen pouring my bowl of Grape Nut O's and I hear my wife starting her shower in our bathroom on the second floor. A few seconds later I hear a loud thud followed by a couple of other crashing sounds. Since I did not hear any screams or yelps for help I decide I can continue on preparing my breakfast. Maybe it was just a shampoo bottle falling off a shelf in the shower and hitting the floor.
Next I notice that the shower is shutting off, which is strange because the water has only been running for a couple of minutes. A minute later she is standing in the kitchen saying, "can you come upstairs and help me put the shower curtain back up? I fell down in the shower". For some reason her little accidents make me mad...a reaction that makes her mad also...so I tried to contain myself and went upstairs and rehung the shower curtain and soon after she was hapily taking her shower.
I know it is insensitive for me to get mad when these things happen but in my defense they happen often. About a month ago I was laying in bed slipping into slumber (no pun intended) and was abruptly awoken by a loud thud coming from the stairwell between the 1st and 2nd floor in our home. I laid there for a second listening for sounds, such as moaning or swearing, I heard nothing. The fact that I did not hear anything caused me to quickly jump out of bed and run toward the stairwell...expecting to find my wife lifeless at the bottom of the stairs. When I got to the stairs I was met by my wife, who I guess was trying to be quiet after the fall, saying "I fell down the stairs". As if I didn't hear the really loud thud that nearly gave me a heart attack. Again, I was mad. I think I said something like, "you need to be more careful" and "what do you think your doing?".
I really do not know why this makes me mad. I think I am really in a state of fear and it just comes out as anger. The fear I have is that someday during one of her bouts of clumsiness she is going to get hurt really bad. I am too young to be wifeless!
But wait, there is more to the shower story...tonight after I get home my wife and I talked a little bit about her fall. We laugh a little about it and then she says, "do you want to hear the whole story?".
What follows is a story about her desire to turn the shower curtain liner around because it is discolored after a recent cleaning. She climbs up on the edge of the tub and then decides that she does not really want to turn the liner around so she decides to step down. Since I was in the shower only fifteen minutes earlier once her foot hits the bottom of the tub she slips and falls and tries to grab the shower curtain to stop her fall. Grabbing the shower curtain causes the curtain rod to come crashing down, which is the crashing sound I heard when I was in the kitchen. What followed was a futile attempt to put the curtain back up. This accounted for the other crashing sounds I heard. After a couple attempts she came to her senses (not wanting to break anything else in the bathroom) and she came downstairs and got me.
Mabe I have a reason to be mad. Maybe she is really doing dumb things to get herself hurt. I am still waiting to hear if there is a "rest of the story" regarding the stair incident.
Am I the only person experiencing this phenomenon or are others experiencing the same thing?
March 02 The Fart GameMy side of the family is well known for having gas issues. I remember my Grandfather had issues, my Dad has issues, and I definetely have gas issues too. There is no logic to what causes it, I bet I could switch to a all water diet and still be blessed with gas.
Tonight after arriving home with the kids after picking them up from school I walked in the door and dropped the bomb. It was one of the silent type so it was not immediately noticed by my children. My son began hanging up his coat in our laundry room, the scene of the crime, and my daughter immediately followed. I moved to the kitchen and pretended to read the mail while I was really paying attention to the humor that was about to happen.
When my daughter entered the area she quickly noticed the stench and began to blame my son. Then my son got a wiff of the odor, I am sure he also noticed me giggling in the kitchen, and the blame shifted rightfully to me. I have a hard time holding in the laughter while playing this game that I like to call the Fart Game. With all the practice I have you would think I would be better at containing the laughter, but I am not. Oh well, for me I guess the Fart Game will never get old.
Here are some other variations of the game I enjoy playing...
I am sure I am not the only person who plays this game. If you have your own variation I would enjoy hearing about it. |
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